I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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