im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just googled if crying burns calories
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize