i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
