i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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