so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
