tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
