I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize