i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
