My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
