these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize