in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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