Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
time to smoke my breakfast
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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