32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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