I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
