Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
