eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
