She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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