you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dicks are not precious.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
