mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
