my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
