Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
