and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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