I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
