The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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