I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
