The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Please, let me fuck your mom
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
and you fell through a lawn chair
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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