Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
