I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
