just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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