I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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