they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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