she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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