the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
