There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize