let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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