and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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