My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
