What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
