i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
