I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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