I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
