This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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