i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
