i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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