they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this just has baby written all over it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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