How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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