I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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