i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
