I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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