Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
