Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize