i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize