I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There r osticjed everywhere
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
