my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
