it was like having sex with a tree stump
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
