remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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