You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
