Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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