yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
