guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
