My friends, they love my intelligence
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
