do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
try to milk me bitch
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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