2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
